MAKE THE CURRY BUTTER (CAN BE MADE DAYS AHEAD):
1. Toast the curry powder, turmeric and cumin in a dry skillet over medium-low heat, stirring constantly, for 60-90 seconds until fragrant and slightly darkened. Toasting blooms the spice oils and eliminates the raw, dusty quality that untoasted curry powder can have. Let cool completely.
2. Combine the softened butter with the toasted spice blend, garlic, lime zest, salt and cayenne. Mix thoroughly until the spices are evenly distributed and the butter is a uniform golden color.
3. Roll into a log in plastic wrap and refrigerate until firm. This keeps for 2 weeks refrigerated or 2 months frozen.

SEASON AND BRAISE THE OXTAIL:
4. Season the oxtail generously with salt and pepper. Whisk together the rum, tamarind paste, soy sauce and brown sugar in a bowl. Pour over the oxtail pieces in a large container or zip-lock bag, turning to coat. Refrigerate for at least 4 hours, or preferably overnight.
5. When ready to cook, preheat the oven to 325°F (160°C). Remove the oxtail from the marinade and pat dry with paper towels — wet meat will not brown. Reserve the marinade.
6. Heat the vegetable oil in a large Dutch oven or heavy braising pot over medium-high heat until shimmering. Working in batches (do not crowd the pot), sear the oxtail pieces on all sides until deeply browned — 3-4 minutes per side. This browning is non-negotiable. It builds the fond on the bottom of the pot that becomes the foundation of the braising liquid's flavor. Transfer the seared pieces to a plate.
7. Reduce heat to medium. Add the onion, carrots and celery to the pot and cook in the rendered fat for 5-6 minutes, scraping up the browned bits from the bottom. Add the garlic and tomato paste and cook for 1 minute more until fragrant.
8. Deglaze with the wine, scraping up every bit of fond from the bottom. Let it reduce by half, about 3-4 minutes. Add the reserved rum-tamarind marinade, beef stock, thyme, allspice, bay leaves and the whole punctured Scotch bonnet.
9. Return the oxtail to the pot — the liquid should come about two-thirds up the sides of the meat. Bring to a gentle simmer.
10. Cover tightly and braise in the oven for 3-3 1/2 hours, checking occasionally, until the meat is utterly tender and pulling away from the bone. It should offer no resistance when pierced with a fork and practically fall apart at a touch.
11. Remove the oxtail pieces from the braising liquid and let cool slightly. Pull the meat from the bones in large, generous shreds, discarding any gristle, fat and connective tissue. Keep the pulled oxtail warm.
12. Strain the braising liquid through a fine-mesh sieve into a clean saucepan, pressing on the vegetables to extract all flavor. Discard the solids (including the Scotch bonnet). Skim the fat from the surface. Bring to a boil and reduce by about half until it is a glossy, intensely flavored sauce that coats the back of a spoon. Season with salt and pepper. You should have about 1-1 1/2 cups of reduced sauce. Fold a few tablespoons of this sauce back into the pulled oxtail to keep it moist and intensely seasoned.

ROAST THE BONE MARROW:
13. Preheat the oven to 450°F (230°C). Place the split marrow bones cut-side up on a foil-lined sheet pan. Season with salt and pepper.
14. Roast for 15-18 minutes until the marrow is soft and yielding, slightly pulling away from the bone, and beginning to bubble. It should jiggle when shaken but still hold its shape — overcooked marrow will melt into the pan and be lost.
15. Scoop the marrow from the bones with a small spoon while still warm and roughly chop it. Gently fold together with the parsley, lemon zest, garlic, flaky salt and red pepper flakes. The gremolata should be chunky and rustic — visible pieces of marrow throughout, not a smooth paste. Set aside at room temperature. Make this just before serving; marrow gremolata does not hold well.

COOK THE CAROLINA GOLD RICE GRITS:
16. Bring the water and salt to a rolling boil in a heavy-bottomed saucepan.
17. Add the rice grits, stir once, and return to a boil. Reduce the heat and simmer gently, uncovered, stirring occasionally, for about 15 minutes until the grains are just tender with no hard starchy center — they should be cooked through but still have individual integrity, not mushy.
18. Drain in a fine-mesh strainer and rinse briefly with cool water to stop the cooking and wash away excess surface starch. This is Tristen's key technique — cooking the grits like pasta keeps each grain separate and distinct, rather than the creamy, porridge-like texture of traditional grits. Shake the strainer well to remove excess water.
19. Return the drained grits to the warm saucepan over medium-low heat. Add 3-4 tablespoons of curry butter and toss gently until the grains are evenly coated and glossy with a beautiful golden hue. Add a squeeze of lime juice and season with salt to taste. The grits should be loose and separate, each grain glistening with spiced butter — not sticky, not clumpy. If they look dry, add another tablespoon of curry butter. If they look wet, spread on a sheet pan in the oven at 300°F for 5 minutes to dry slightly.

PLATE THE DISH:
20. Spoon a generous bed of curry-butter rice grits into the center of each warm, wide bowl.
21. Mound a generous portion of pulled oxtail on top of the grits, pressing it gently into a cohesive shape. Drizzle a spoonful or two of the reduced braising sauce around and over the oxtail.
22. Crown with a generous spoonful of bone marrow gremolata, letting pieces of marrow and the bright green parsley cascade over the dark, glossy meat.
23. Finish with a drizzle of olive oil, a sprinkle of flaky sea salt, and a few fresh herb sprigs.